Research process and making connections between alive systems.
2020 and 2021

It is tricky trying to describe my research process, as it is not linear with any distinctive starting or ending points in its format. This is because the understanding of my interests is rooted from a web of constellations, formed from what I formally and presently comprehend of my past and current experiences and influences. They overlap, intertwine and become an intuitive guide along my life’s journey of curiosity on earth and my role within it all. Theses explorations continually go through metamorphoses and the movement of time plays a significant role in these transformations. Weaving in and out of the exterior and interiors of the all-encompassing components of eco-sustainability.

However, at this point in time I will invite you to delve into my current focus and research. Where my art practice is being led, is made visible in my current choices and actions. Reflection on this then leads to another understanding of where I could or should go next…and here is a good point to jump into my present research. Patterns, cycles and routines, mine in particular, is what I want to unravel. The purpose of this is to make space for reflection in my life’s practice, something that is not given enough attention on the overall scheme of things. I’m getting a glimpse of the value for delving more deeply into this part of a cycle, as I spend more time in it. It is unfamiliar to me, as on the most part I consciously spend time reflecting once or twice a year on the bigger picture that I’ve been busy painting. The realization that I need to step back from this painting more often is becoming apparent. For in doing so I find myself in a pause, a silencing place with all the feelings, thoughts, emotions, intentions, actions and reactions brought to the forefront. This can be overwhelming; it can be exhilarating, and it can be quite complex. This part of the reflection I am familiar with, the other parts are still somewhat clumsy and therefore I’m attempting to define them so that they can become aids of assists in this phase of the cycle.

You see another part of my research is sustainability. What sustainability has come to mean to me has expanded over time. It is becoming far more meaningful and all-encompassing, especially now that I’ve started to tap into its myriad of forms. Something that is noticeably reoccurring and integral to living sustainable forms, is cycles. But what I find particularly interesting and important is the pause, stillness and restful part of a cycle. How long this it is maintained, and its purpose is multifaceted, with its shapes and forms varying according to the circumstances, inputs and time surrounding it. These moments too, aren’t always the same. Sustainability itself is always, shifting, morphing and has fluidity to it. So, in order to enhance the sustainability of my life’s artistic practice, I must be attuned to its flow and the needs of it. Which brings me back to this part of the cycles that calls for pause and refection. This can be applied to bigger scale of our activates in relation to a capitalistic way of blindly moving along with the vision for progress. We should disrupt this capitalistic flow by integrating and taking advantage of a pause or an off-kilter moment, in order to evaluate where were head, why and what have been the results thus far. Acquire or instated this intervention to break the capitalistic rush of forward progression and constant movement towards. Questioning the infinite desire to soar so high with no landing no reality of the planet that supports us and the results of our actions that guide us.

I’ve notice that I learn and understand more through experimental actions and interactions. My way of comprehending, exploring and deepening my interest comes through trial and error. Or as it is termed in the business world “taking calculated risks”. What this entails is conducting research to evaluate the pros and cons, especially the cons. Assessments are conducted and then accordingly, goals and decisions are defined. While taking into account that there will still be a risk of failure. This is done with the understanding that there is value in failure, by learning from it, which in itself is worth the risk. Therefore, to get the most out of the failure, the plan is designed or should be designed to have space for evaluation and refection throughout the various stages of the process.

Taking a calculated risk in my practice could be seen as creating experimental projects or working collaboratively. The gold mine here is the un-planned, unpredictable, impulsive and raw outcomes and responses that arise and unfold in these settings. But these elements can easily get lost, overlooked or slip by if I haven’t trained myself to be reflective and attuned to recognising them. The same goes for finding ways to listen, pay attention and allow time for intuition to take lead. This is something that has been lost to us in the twenty-first century because we are constantly on the go, constantly bombarded with input and busy pumping output on a never-ending wheel of production. Therefore, in order to reacquire this once acutely natural habit, we must intentionally make time for it and give it priory. In this process I’ve started to see conflicting patterns arise, that must be unlearned, a conscious struggle to get to the place of pause, silence and reflection. And when I find myself in this domain, there is an effort to be made to dwell in it. Finding what works and what tools are affective for this is part of the quest. Sometimes, the reflection is best done as an individual and other times with shared company. Yet still the shared company is an aid and not the guiding intuitive voice, this alone is for the individual to understand for themselves. This pause and reflection can be complex because the individual is faced with the whole and everything that is interconnected, including oneself. But by finding one’s centre once can find connections within its interior and exterior environment. Input and output become more recognisable and an impression for where the roots are spreading is felt. Is it heathy or not? Is, the nutrients pure and fresh or is another source needed? What is being imparted externally, its repercussions and the direction becomes apparent. Connecting roots and their influences can be heard and sensed. It’s a pause for recalibration.

It is this tentative and attune quality that is imperative when making an artistic practice a way of life. This element merges when living with the intent that life should be navigated as an artwork and shaped with thoughtful intent. By focusing on finding ways to be more attentive I support my living practice and its ability to thrive and flourish. Honing in on this part of a cycle is a way of acquiring an internal and external pedagogy. Writing is one of the tools I used to reflect, formalise and encapsulate this part of my research. This gives way to articulating outcomes, image what could transpired and finding a way to plan and enacting the next motions. Core values and ethics are highlighted and redefined accordingly. This too, will flow into collaborations, connections and seeds that are co-shared with those around me. Together these interactions will become supporting and contributing elements towards and for a positive and healthy ecosystem within my surroundings.

So, you see my research process is looping, everything loops, loops, loops, loops in, around, under and over everything. My research is reflection on reflecting, by reflecting, to do one I must test the other. My research is alive, it’s a dance, it is breathing and moving. It’s a tool that supports and is supporting my life’s artistic practice.